Dispatch from Dial-up hell

I was trying to upgrade OSX when the shit hit the fan. Some big downloads meant I’d teetered over my 10GB cap for the month, and my internet connection, my precious, precious broadband was grounded – back to 56KBps I went. For two weeks. Bloody hell.

Oh well, we survived for years on Dial-up – surely it’s not THAT bad? I hoped for the best, a kind of digital Walden, a nostalgic return to days of yore.

Turns out, it’s as much fun as a Gameboy with no batteries.

You can’t YouTube on Dial-up. You can’t do 23 Firefox tabs in Dial-up. You can’t do a cheeky Bit Torrent on Dial-up. It’s like swimming through shit, if shit took an age to download. Recently, I brazenly asked an older work colleague what working in the 80’s without the internet was like. Now I know.

330 MB software updates, updates I used to laugh cavalierly at, were now timing out. I started thinking about page sizes. I started thinking about text browsers. I had a better web experience on my PHONE.

Before, when I read hard-luck stories of people who can’t get broadband where they live, I’d raise an amused eyebrow. Maybe snigger, before popping open another 5 or six browser tabs just for the laugh. Now, I realise these people live in Abu Ghraib. Forget sponsoring a child, we need a Telethon for those lost in 56KBps. 56K? NO WAY.  That kind of thing.

I’ve got a week to go, I *think* I can make it. I’m starting a list of things to do when I’m full speed again. I’m going to download that update and stand watching the progress bar barrel along, hands on my hips, head back, laughing in an overly hearty manner. I’m going to be me again.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *